Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
