So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
