His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
