been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
