I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Sorry my hands just texted you
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
