Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
