I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
