i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize