Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry Gringa_13 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(631): View more from New York

I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...

Fav 27 2011 2633
share tweet
(985): View more from Louisiana

i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.

Fav 54 3253 885
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(828): View more from North Carolina

Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish

Fav 13 4580 994
share tweet
(314): View more from Missouri

The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.

Fav 10 2756 1389
share tweet
(914): View more from New York

How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man

Fav 2 1548 730
share tweet
(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i came so hard i kicked through my windshield

Fav 9 2699 781
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(785): View more from Kansas

Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.

Fav 0 641 446
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.

Fav 1 80 12
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(508): View more from Massachusetts

I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come

Fav 0 47 28
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT