I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
it's like iHOP with fire
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
