I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
