Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
