so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
