i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
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