I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
sick fucks of a feather flock together
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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