Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
