Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
