So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
