i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize