I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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