There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
