We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
MIDGETS
????
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Randomize
