you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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