Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
