Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
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