Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
