Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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