I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
