Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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