So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
