bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Be still, my beating vagina.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
