You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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