My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
