I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
