her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
this is an emotional support booty call
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
