I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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