I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
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