yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
