At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
We had to coat check the pizza.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
