I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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