on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
