What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
