wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
