literally had 100 drinks last night.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
