Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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