I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I think i got beer on your cat.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
