I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
