would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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