So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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