we should wear snuggies to the strip club
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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