i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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