so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
