sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize