so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
