sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
A bitchslap is in order.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
