im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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