He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
