No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
