this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
