dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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