I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Randomize