3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
You can't special order awesome
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
